Temptation Moonset. Photo by Robert Rath from Robert’s website.
Today’s poem is the result of a (few days old) prompt from the NaPoWriMo site here. The suggestion was to find and rework a poem by Emily Dickinson. I chose ‘The Moon is distant from the Sea – 387’. When I started playing around with the poem, I wondered why she had altered the relationship between the moon and the sea in the final stanza so that the feminine character sounded fragile and dependent – the opposite of how the poem begins. That had to change! (I’ve posted the original version at the end of this post, after my one.)
Emily dashed: the moon is (not so) distant from the sea
The moon is distant from the sea,
and yet, her amber hand
commands him ebb and flow just so;
he seems to understand.
Striking balance, finely tuned:
natural laws at work;
then why does Emily’s last verse
reverse the moon-sea roles?
Oh, Signor, mine’s the amber hand
and thine the distant sea.
Just so we’re clear, I’ve turned it round:
my eye’s imposed on thee!
Here’s the original poem by Emily Dickinson.
The Moon is distant from the Sea – (387)
The Moon is distant from the Sea –
And yet, with Amber Hands –
She leads Him – docile as a Boy –
Along appointed Sands –He never misses a Degree –
Obedient to Her eye –
He comes just so far – toward the Town –
Just so far – goes away –Oh, Signor, Thine, the Amber Hand –
And mine – the distant Sea –
Obedient to the least command
Thine eye impose on me –
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